Les Singes: The Life of Monkey Boy

The Tough Get Mowing

I suppose it's true about the economy.  On two consecutive days we had people wander up to our door asking if they could mow our lawn for some cash.  Day #1 Man was well put together with a folder containing reference information.  Day #2 Man was a bit scarier since he was pushing a running mower up the street.  I declined help from each man even though I think it's great they're attempting to work for some money.  I do get the hint, it's time to mow our clover laden lawn.  On that note, I hired our neighbor's landscaper on the spot today to come by and look after our yard.  I honestly love getting out in the yard and making it sparkle, but with the little one the luster has dulled a bit.

I thought it was interesting when I went home for lunch today.  My purpose of going home was to meet our wonderful Terminix guy.  When he pulled up to our house the newly hired landscapers (three of them) were in the yard making it pretty.  While the Terminix guy was plugging a hole under our kitchen sink, he said this.  "After 30 I decided to call in the troops as well".  Good, I feel validated in our many decisions to outsource.

Presenting Team Singe:

• Landscaping by Mr. Vargas and his two cohorts
• Pest control by John with Terminix
• Housecleaning by Jeanette of the self-employed variety
• Semi-monthly babysitting by Mary

We're a kept family.  Anybody want to maintain two blogs for me and train for a triathlon? 

About About

"What did I learn the past few days?"  

About myself:  I learned I'm not an appliance repair person.  When the dishwasher backs up, it's time to call the pros.  Computer troubleshooting skills don't translate to Mr. Handyman.

About my daughter: She likes to bite her classmates hands because she's in the middle of a growth spurt and teething.  I keep telling her to bite her own hand instead of her friends.  Oddly she won't bite me, but bites Mrs. Lessinges.  

About suction cups: they can really be a bitch when feeling uncooperative.  I installed a sunscreen in the rear window of our Subaru to block the bright sun rays.  The suction cups don't feel like obliging.

About my wife: she's very forgiving, even after she's had snot rubbed on her black dress right before walking out the door for work.  I didn't blow snot on her, our little one prefers to rub her nose in clothing instead of a paper tissue.

About my daughter: put an object in my daughter's right hand and she'll hit said object against the nearest solid object.  Put an item in her left hand and she'll will throw said object nearly 100% of the time.  We might have a lefty in the making. 

About my wife's former employer: Starbucks will close 600 stores nationwide over the next year.  This means 12,000 jobs will be lost and most certainly layoffs in the corporate office.  The sad feelings about this news caught me by surprise.  We obviously have many friends who work there and we wish them all the best. 

About Wii: The Wii Fit is nearly impossible to find.  I've tried a handful of times to track it down.  I nearly had one on Sunday morning at Target, but was five people too late.  Damn those early birds.  I did purchase Mario Kart for the Wii instead and it's a hoot.  Back to the Wii Fit, I'm tempted to use my former Nintendo ties to track down a Wii Fit.

About B vitamins: bright yellow (more of a refresher course)

About parenting: getting sleep is key for survival.

About reality tv show contestants from Seattle:  Last year we had Blake Lewis on American Idol.  This year we have Jason on The Bachelorette.  Will Jason finish on top (I went there) unlike Mr. Lewis?  Stay tuned for next Monday's most exciting rose ceremony.

About me: I'm horrible about going to bed when I'm completely tired

TypeBad

TypePad, I hope you're listening.  This new compose window sucks ass and keeps messing up my perfectly legit blog posts.  That is all I have for now.  Yes, I do realize there are polar bears dying near Hudson Bay (the geographic area and not the department store) and that Netflix made a really bad decision last week.  The good thing is Netflix changed their mind.  TypePad, do the same.  This compose window is driving me insane and it's way past my bedtime.  Meow!  Great, I wasted my creative energy on bitching about blogging.  It's a damn good thing I'm not paying to blog.  

-Blogless in Seattle

Getting the Worm

There are people in society who take the plunge when others, the less intrepid types, aren't so willing.  I'm talking about those of you who bought a Toyota Prius or an iPod in the year 2002.  Yes, I'm talking about those risk takers known as early adopters.   Being an early adopter typically involves money thus making early adoption exclusive.  However, there are free things like blogging or the discovery of Facebook, which don't require greenbacks. 

Personally I like to sit back and wait a few years as the kinks have been ironed out.  I'm fascinated by new ideas/technology, but I'm rarely a trend-setter when it comes to actual usage of the products.  You could say I'm a bit of a bandwagon type, but I'm not sure it paints an accurate picture.  Heck I was an early adopter of the Handspring Visor, I'm a Graffiti pro.

What I do know is if it weren't for early adopters of new products, lots of cool ideas wouldn't be available to the mainstream public.  I've been more than willing to test out new software and gadgets when they're in a beta phase.  For those of you willing to put yourself on the line and become an early adopter, thank you.  Thank you very much for furthering the cause.

I say this mainly because I have three gadgets I really love these days.  Our Prius, my iPod touch, and TiVo.  Our Prius is such a bitching car, but it took much research and feedback from the first generation of drivers to make the car what it is today.  You even have to give those Honda Insight drivers some street cred.  I know there are naysayers when it comes to the Prius citing it's too expensive and it's funny looking.  Fine, say what you want about the car.  I happen to believe it's the best car I've piloted, no joke.  Spacious, practical, handles well, comes in 8 shades of gray, and has cool control knobs.

Same goes for the iPod touch.  I love that sucker.  It's a gadget I could easily do without, but it's so damn practical.  The first iPhone users made the iPod touch a reality.  Trust me, I don't work for Apple.  I don't even know one person who works for them, yet I know about 10 Microsoft employees.  It's a really nifty gadget which has helped simplify my life just a bit.  

TiVo, what a sweet invention this is.  The ability to pause and record live television.  So awesome.  I catch myself wanting to pause and rewind radio all too often.  That or someone walks by and I catch them doing a funny gesture, I want to press a button to rewind their action and see it again.  VHS had nothing on TiVo I tell you.  TiVo's benefits to the parenting community is significant.  Being able to plop ourselves in front of the tv to watch some brain candy after the little ones tire out for the day, priceless.  UPDATE: now I can set TiVo to record stuff from my computer.  I don't even need to be camped out on our basement couch to select shows.  So instead of reading blogs while at work, I can find the latest HBO Real Sex program and record that puppy.  Woot woot!

Thank you early adopters!  I'd hug you, but blogs don't work like that YET!

Your Guess is as Good as Mine

This much I know is true:  You like bullet point posts.  You like pictures of my daughter.  You like blogging.  You like movies about gladiators.   You like sexual innuendos.  Since my last post didn't really relate to anyone, I will attempt to please you all with some fun numbers about things in my life. 

• I'd estimate I wince at least 75% of the time when I enter the men's bathroom at work.
• 8 bags of yard waste were left for the Waste Management truck today, that's a lot of grass clippings, weeds, and food scraps. 
• Since December of 2006, I've thrown zero rocks at cars.  When I was roughly seven (and testing my boundaries) I threw rocks at a couple cars before getting busted by one of the drivers.  I never did it again.  I like to throw things, what can I say. 
• 9488 - the last four digits of my childhood phone number.
• I've personally owned two cars in my life: 1986 Honda Accord and a 1993 Geo Prizm.  My wife and I have jointly owned two cars.
• We're 23 days away from the day my wife and I met in 1998, that's ten years of knowing one another!
• I have about 15 dress shirts hanging in our cramped closet.  I avoid wearing them because I'm really lazy when it comes to ironing stuff.  I'm an Ironman (just had to throw that in there).
• When I graduated from college, I had 57 more credits than one needed to graduate from college.  Then again my grade point average wasn't so stellar.
• 42.5 miles per gallon, got to love the Prius.
• The first time I got drunk I was 17 and it was following a state swim meet.  I had two cans of beer which I fished out of a hotel bathtub.
• I've been pulled over by a cop four times and ticketed twice.  Both were speeding infractions.  Once I fell asleep at the wheel, making the cop think I was drunk and requiring a breathalizer exam.  I've never fallen asleep at the wheel since that night in 1997.
• My mom considers me her numero uno son, no disrepect to my underperforming siblings.

A Rose isn't Just a Rose

1. Jesse: 26, professional snowboarder guy with long hair.  He doesn't really seem ready to get married, but he's a fun guy to be around.   His dad wears hats with fake hair.  Did I mention the fact this guy loves snowboarding?   Oh, I almost forgot to mention Jesse's got a non-profit for disadvantaged kids.
2. Jeremy: 30.  Hard working guy who passed the Texas bar exam. Recently lost his mom and is very sappy, but in a good way.  Jeremy's a little light on the personality.  He's got a sweet pad and a very friendly dog.  Oh, he can ride motorcycles very fast and hangs his notes from law school on his wall.  
3. Jason: 31, account executive guy living in my hometown of Kirkland, WA.  He's got a kid from a previous marriage, but this might be an advantage since The Bachelorette wants three kids by 30 and she's 26.  Yeah, do the math.  Has a well established career and lives in a wonderful city.
4. Graham:  29; former professional basketball player.  I'm not sure what else to say for this guy since he didn't share much about himself on the show.  Relies on his good looks to nab the babes and has trouble opening up.  Also took The Bachelorette to high school to shoot hoops.  Didn't want to kiss The Bachelorette because other guys kissed her.    

I'm dorking out a bit.  I apologize to those of you with lives who prefer to a) not watch tv b) watch stuff about Denise Richards c) have children d) have green thumbs, but I get caught up in reality tv from time to time.  The Bachelorette is my current fix since nothing else is on tv.   

If I were a betting man, which I'm not, I'd choose Jason and not because he's from my hometown.  They seem to have a good connection.  His family's energy reminds her of her own family.  She's an active person and Seattle is a great place for that sort of thing.  All the cool people live in Seattle too.  

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For those not into reality tv, I can tell you I'm good and life is going well.  Each weekend we're getting stuff done on the house.  This past weekend it was yard work and organizing.  I did have the bad luck of finding a dead rat in our garage, fun times.  Disposal of the body is the worst I tell you.  

We also attended a party where I chatted with fellow partygoers about hybrid cars, ice cream, coyotes, blogs, triathlons, kids on planes, why pretentious men shouldn't wear pink pants (even if they are a CFO), coffee, Tata cars, and fruit.  Tomorrow is the official first day of my wife's new job.  This is when things will change.  I graciously offered to take Tuesday off so I could supervise various activities throughout the day.  I'm good at that sort of thing.  

Who's Your Daddy?

My very first Father's Day is in the books.  I have to admit it was a nearly perfect Sunday.  We began the day with a nice homemade breakfast.  Miraculously the clouds parted, allowing us to go for a nice long stroll.  We packed up the baby mobile and ventured out for our family bonding adventure.  Before we left though, I installed one of those fun gates designed to keep babies out of unwelcoming area such as our dining room. I felt like such a man with all my tools, nuts, and screws.  With the gate properly installed, now all I need to do is housebreak Baby Singe.

Halfway through our walk we made an impromptu pit stop at the beach so our little girl could put her feet in chilly Lake Washington.  She had a really good time watching the other kids, watching the duck and duckling, and was blinded by the many pasty white appendages.  It was finally warm enough for me to get a sunburn on my arms.  On our way back to our house, we stopped at the local Italian joint and got some yummy food. 

The rest of the day was spent performing other manly duties like mowing the lawn, weeding, and grilling for my friends.  My buddy and his girlfriend made a quick detour on their way to Portland, Oregon.  We cooked up some tasty food and had good discussions about life, college, dating, kids, Priuses, home ownership, and our days of innocence. 

Being a dad is fun.  Without a doubt there have been some tough times, but those seem like blips on the radar and make you appreciate the good ones so much more.  Speaking of parenting, my wife and I consider ourselves to be "co-parents" or at least that's what some article called it when mom & dad split the duties evenly.  Huh, I wouldn't think you'd need a term for something so obvious.  There's one little task I still don't like doing, the clipping of the fingernails.  Otherwise, I'm golden.

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Current Obsessions: Euro 2008, Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Honey Bee ice cream, Wii Fit, The Bachelorette, and Lara Spencer.

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...and after 7.5 years working for Starbucks, today is my wife's final day on the coffee giant's payroll.  The transition between jobs will be interesting.  I just received my wife's farewell email to coworkers and it made me tear up a speck. 

Cross Me You Will Not

She's a force alright.  I say don't mess with this girl unless you want to get the horns!  She knows it's Father's Day on Sunday.  Last night though, she said "mommy" the clearest she's ever said it so far.  Not a bad birthday gift for Mrs. Lessinges. 

Speaking of the last post, a couple readers called me out on the repeat nature of the story.  Yes, I've told it before on my blog.  Sometimes I can't remember what has or hasn't been shared with all of you.  I apologize if any of you had to read about my half clad self repairing a fridge door on a sweltering hot day in 1998.  I was shooting for a different slant than the first time I told it a couple years ago.  Oh my, I have keyboard diarrhea. 

Have a great weekend everyone and don't mess with my daughter or you'll get the talons.  Yes, she has large talons. 

A Maytag Moment

It was a hot, hot summer day.  I drove my Honda Accord 180 miles north on the interstate to visit a new acquaintance.  We had a nice early dinner out on the town and went back to her pad.  Her apartment was a three bedroom one bathroom dwelling with a chilly outdoor pool.  She had two roommates, one I met the night of our first encounter. 

We'd known each other about three weeks or so.  Her place was furnished with some cute Ikea furniture and had a nice breeze blowing through the curtains.  It was a cozy pad.  They had a tiny galley kitchen with a fridge up against the wall.  I noticed the swing on the fridge door was awkward.  The hinges on the right side made it a touch awkward to remove mayo, beer, or whatever else you might want. 

I decided I would do something about it.  Why?  Well because sometimes I think I'm more talented than I actually am.  I figured I could easily move the hinges from the right side of the fridge to the left side of the lime green appliance.  Twenty minutes into the project I discovered it would take much longer than the 60 minutes I promised this new lady friend of mine.  I had become sweaty and cranky.  I didn't know this person for more than three weeks and there I was dismantling her fridge door with nuts and bolts strewn on her kitchen floor as she watched patiently. 

She humored me with idle chit chat.  She helped me remain as level headed as possible.  It turned out there was some fridge part missing which wouldn't allow my good deed to work at all.  Four hours later I pieced the fridge door back together, put on the hinges, and closed the door.  Did I also close the door to my relationship with my new lady friend?  Did the door to the fridge close firmly as before?   No and no. 

This day I got to know someone like I've never known before.  I learned a good discussion can be as rewarding as attempting to change the swing of a fridge door.  I learned when someone can laugh at your brave attempt to perform an unnecessary good deed, you better keep them by your side.  That I did.  Of course this story is about Mrs. Lessinges and one of our first "dates".  Today is her special day.  Happy birthday to you! 

Billy Idol Breaks Spell Check

My post about fatherhood wasn't meant to be.  I attempted to retype the entry last night and then we lost power.  The winds outside finally got the best of our neighborhood after flickering for more than three hours.  Instead you're stuck with yet another random Monkey Boy post and my current favorite picture of the little one.

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My wife brought up a great point.  McDonald's is proudly promoting their hamburgers as 100% beef on local billboards.  Why are they trying to convince us?  As opposed to what?  60% dead cow, 35% mystery meat, and 5% shit? 

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Last night's power outage was our second one since Baby Singe has been with us.  The first one sucked ass since my wife was still breastfeeding.  Last night's wasn't so bad except it did get a little chilly in our house.  For the first time ever, we had our daughter sleep in our bed with us since her little hands were cold.  It was cute to see her sleeping in our bed, but I will say neither of the adults slept well.  Co-sleeping parents, you're either nuts or brilliant!  (Author note: we're not the "family bed" type) 

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I'm thinking a $200 iPhone is very much to my liking.  My current cell phone contract expires in early September.  My current provider has already contacted me hoping to get me to add another two years to my contract.  One full month for free?  I'm not sure that's worth it.  I really want the want the iPhone, but it could be a conflict of interest since my wife's new job is a competitor.

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